


A Little Less Distraction

by orphan_account



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Sexual Humor, mcu - Freeform, phonesex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 21:19:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11494962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Wasn't phonesex supposed to be, well, sexy?Peter and Michelle try something different and regret it near immediately.





	A Little Less Distraction

**Author's Note:**

> Peter and Michelle are roughly 17 or 18 years old here, which means both have had time to grow as people and nurture their friendship long before becoming lovers like they are in this story.

“Uh, yeah…Well, sure…” Peter was staring at his roof, stretched out on the bed with his hand down the front of his bedpants. There was no real intention behind it just yet. That was just sort of where his hand went to rest automatically. There was probably something Freudian there. “But it’s not very late…”

“So?”

“So…what if my aunt…?”

“Don’t bring your aunt into this,” Michelle moaned in aggravation. “It isn’t exactly a turn on, even if your aunt is pretty hot.”

“I’m ignoring that last comment and okay, okay…” Peter took a deep breath. “I’m up for it. But I don’t…exactly know how to begin.”

“It’s like sexting. Only you do it over the phone.” Michelle paused. “Are you ready? I think I am.”

“Sure. I still don’t know how to start it.” Peter chewed on the corner of his lip, focusing harder on the individual popcorns that studded the plaster above his head. “Mmmm…all right. So um, what are you wearing?” He tried to let his voice drop down to the basement, but he felt like it climbed higher in spite of him. He knew it wasn’t sexy, guys with high or soft voices. With his luck it would crack whenever he orgasmed.

“Pajamas,” Michelle said. Realizing that the word pajamas had never turned anyone on in the history of ever, she switched tactics. “And I have on my silk black underwear. And no bra. Definitely no bra.” She lied but it didn’t matter.

That got some sort of response. Peter felt his dick twinge, but even with his fingers resting right on top of it, there was still no hurry to get erect. “No bra is good. I um, would really like to feel your breasts?” He shrugged, knowing full well she couldn’t see. “Maybe squeeze them? Through your shirt? Or lift up your shirt and – then squeeze them?”

His cheeks were burning. He pressed the phone as close to his face as he could in order to be heard while trying to speak low enough to avoid his aunt overhearing. She was just one room over folding laundry. She had her box fan on high and she was watching some sort of old soap opera, but that didn’t mean…

“Uh, yeah” Michelle tried to moan, but it sounded more like she had stubbed her toe on something. “That would be really nice…”

“Yeah?” Peter felt a bit encouraged, even if he had no idea where to take it from there. He was trying his best to get the full image of a naked MJ in his head. But he was so fixated on the idea that he might get caught doing this at any minute that he kept getting the images swapped with Aunt May, and that was not a very straight path to his boner. “Well then maybe after that, I would um…kiss your neck.”

“Uh huh?” Michelle continued. “That feels so good…”

That threw a wrench into the game. Was Peter supposed to be pretending that this was all happening right now? He wasn’t in that mental spot yet, and he didn’t know if he was capable of being when he was so on edge. “Yeah? I’ll keep going…”

“Peter?” Aunt May called from the other room. Peter slammed the phone down so fast on top of the pillow that he almost hung up on his girlfriend.

“Shit,” he hissed through his teeth. “Yeah?!”

“Peter,” Aunt May appeared in the doorway. Thankfully, his door had only been cracked open. And in the time it took her to push the door open all of the way he had managed to pull his hand from pants. “Are you all right?”

“Yep,” he said. “I’m perfectly fine – can I help you with something?”

“I need to know if this shirt is yours,” she held up the item in question for inspection. He knew now that she had to have heard something or was otherwise suspicious. There was no way his clothing could be mistaken for hers, or probably anyone else’s in the entire apartment complex.

“Yes,” he said, giving her his widest, most convincingly innocent grin. “That’s mine all right.”

“Thanks, dear.” She smiled at him and turned to leave. She didn’t shut the door behind her- she definitely knew something was up.

Peter let out a long breath he didn’t know he had been holding and fell back to the bed, pulling the phone close to his hear again and waiting just another second before resuming the conversation. He wanted to make sure that his aunt was entirely out of earshot.

“Hello?” Michelle said on the other end. “Peter?”

“Hey,” he whispered. “I’m here.”

“Was that your aunt?”

“Yes, she walked in on us.” Peter closed his eyes. “I told you she would…”

“Did she catch you?” Michelle sounded like she was on the verge of laughter.

“No!” His ears burned. “I had my hand down my pants though, and that would have been insanely awkward if she had been like, three seconds earlier…”

“Ooh, hand down your pants, hmm?” Michelle cooed. “Sounds like we were getting somewhere.”

“Sure, but I’ve been put way out of the mood now. I mean, you would be too, right? If your aunt had just…”

“Come on, Peter. It isn’t like she caught you masturbating. I mean, nothing kills the mood like your cheery aunt just waltzing into your bedroom without permission – what did she want, anyway?”

“She wanted to know if the shirt she was folding…was mine.” It sounded even dumber when he said it out loud.

He could almost hear Michelle rolling her eyes. “She definitely thinks you’re up to something.”

“On the scope of shady things I’ve done recently, this is actually the least controversial or dangerous.” He pointed out.

“That’s true. So let’s pick up again. You were talking about kissing my neck.”

“Right,” Peter nodded. “And then…”

“I’m wearing these bedpants,” she tried to be helpful. “Are you going to let those stay on?”

“Not at all,” Peter said. “I’m going to help you take them off…”

“You’re going to push them down?”

“Yes, and then I’m going to feel you between your legs, and…” his voice was trailing off. He fought to keep it strong throughout the duration of this discussion. But it was just so embarrassing and awkward. He felt weird saying these things – like some kind of perv who hid in sorority house attics and made obscene phone calls in the middle of the night.

“And?” She urged helpfully. “Oh, Peter…I’m touching myself there right now and thinking about you…”

“Holy shit, are you really?”

“Yes, oh my god.” She tried to maintain the throaty moan that she had worked herself up into earlier, but it was difficult when he was making it so hard to stay in the mind-set. “I’m touching myself and…I’m sliding my fingers in. I’m so wet for you already. I want you so badly that it hurts…”

He felt another stir. He was definitely getting a boner. Peter slid his hands down the front of his pants again, touching it hesitantly as if he had never grabbed his own erection before. This time it felt different. It wasn’t like it didn’t feel good, but he was still too…

Apprehensive. Nervous. Shy. All of those were applicable. A shy boner was not a very responsive one.

“I really wish I was there,” Peter said.

“I wish you were here too, loser…” MJ said, unable to not insult even in a moment like this. “I bet you’d like to press up close to me…all naked under the covers?”

She didn’t sound too sure about it, herself. Usually the appeal in that sort of tease was that the woman was almost always 100% confident that the man wanted to do exactly what she was described. Peter already really wanted to cuddle with her underneath the sheets, but for some reason…admitting to that in near-graphic detail over the phone just seemed so tasteless.

“I want to touch you,” he said, trying not to sound like an earnest nerd. He knew he was failing in that, too. “I want to touch you everywhere and…kiss you, and smell your hair…”

“Smell my hair?” she seemed thrown off. “That’s a little weird.”

“I don’t know what you want,” Peter found himself dangerously close to whining. He knew that was not attractive.

“Well I don’t want you to sound like some creepy old guy sitting next tome on a bus….with all that ‘smell your hair’ type of shit…”

“Peter?” Aunt May called from the other room again. “Peter, I need you again.”

“Sure, Aunt May…” he said, lifting his voice and pulling his phone down away from his ear. Just in time, too. His voice predictably cracked. “What do you need?”

She walked up to his door. She leaned against the frame, magnanimously ignoring the fact that he was pitching a tent in his loose, worn out bed pants. “I am going to get dinner after I finish the laundry.” She said. “What do you want?”

“Um…” The blood was roaring in his ears. He had never had a boner wilt so fast in his life. Just one look at Aunt May was enough to send his head reeling, dizzy with the sudden rush of blood from his groin all the way up to his brain. “I don’t really know. I’m fine with anything.”

“You say that,” Aunt May did not seem like she was in a hurry to move. “But then if I bring home something you don’t like, you are absolutely going to admit that you care…”

“But I really, really don’t.” He could still hear MJ on the other end of the phone. Now that he wasn’t actively responding she was making obnoxious moans and breathy, high-pitched sounds on the other end. He knew she was doing it, mostly, to distract him – and it was working. For one horrifying second, he wondered if Aunt May could hear it as well. He pressed the receiver even closer to his chest, which he was sure did not look at all suspicious. “But how about – pizza? That never fails.”

“Pizza it is,” Aunt May smiled at him. “What do you want on it?”

Now she was just fucking with him. She was like some sort of totalitarian dictator wearing the mask of a sweet, motherly figure. Peter’s boner wasn’t just gone, it was dead. It had died an agonizing death and could not be resurrected. At least, not tonight. And not by whatever Michelle was doing on the other side of the phone. It was starting to sound like she was dying.

“Pepperoni,” he said. “I’m um, I’m talking to someone…”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Aunt May said. “Thank you for your input, then, I will leave you be.”

“Thanks,” he said, sincerely ready for her to just leave his room.

“Do you want me to shut the door?” She let her hand linger on the knob just a few seconds too long.

“Sure, whatever. Thanks!” Peter waited for her to go and then he collapsed back onto the pillows, shoving his hand back down the front of his bed pants. He was now determined that he was going to make this happen. He wanted to tell Michelle that she had made him cum over the phone with just her voice. “Sorry, she came in and…”

“I heard,” Michelle’s voice was both snarky and sexy. “Maybe it’s for the best. Peter, just thinking about you gets me so close…”

“So close to what? Oh. God, MJ, I want to be there to get you that close…”

“Would you fuck me really, really hard?” Her own voice got so quiet that he could barely hear her. Clearly, he wasn’t the only one with something to worry about.

“Yes,” he could barely hear himself. She probably couldn’t hear him at all, but the intention was there. Peter was sure his thirst was evident over the cold receiver of a cell phone. “Yes, Michelle, I want you so badly…”

“Mmmm!” She let out another long, low sound. “Oh, Peter, I’m gonna…” she squeaked. He didn’t know what he was expecting from that build-up, but he found the squeak somewhat anti-climactic. He hadn’t found enough time to work his boner back up. So he let it sit there, sort of half-interested, not quite erect but a little plump. It rested against his thick, just heavy enough to remind him of its presence. Of what could have happened.

“Oh, wow,” he said, trying not to sound sarcastic. He was genuinely surprised. “You came – just like that?”

“Well,” now she sounded smug, and well, normal Michelle-like. “I didn’t really. But I faked it pretty well, huh? I appreciate the effort though, Peter. Thank you for your participation, Parker!”

“No problem.” Peter pulled his hand out of his pants and put it behind his head, giving up. “Glad to be of service.”

“You were great. I’ll be sure to leave your money on the dresser.”

“Don’t forget to tip,” he said. “It’s hard out there.”

She laughed lightly. “I’m going to go to bed now.”

“Just like a woman. Orgasm and then pass out.” He teased.

“I think that is usually most men,” she said. “Goodnight, Peter.”

“Goodnight…sleep tight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Should I write a real smut story now that I've dipped my toes in the pond? Y/N? Maybe? Spoiler: I'm going to anyway because I've caught the smutbug.


End file.
